November 20, 2012

Thanks for My Mom & My Help Thanksgiving Thoughts

I have had people call me a saint. Then their our some.....There have people rolled there eyes as I maybe was overly nice to someone. I am not a suck, up I really try to follow the golden rule. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Wonder why I never hear that anymore? When I was in my first years of school; kindergarden and maybe first and second grade it was posted in our classroom. That was up-north, maybe that is a yankee saying. In times when others have been the rudest to me I just most of the time grinned and didn't say anything. Well, except when it came to my girls, I have made a bigger spectical of myself over them than I needed to many times. I have really been unreasonable before when it came to taking up for them. Now that I am to a point in my life that dreams seems useless; I hope for all of them to have what hardworking, basically good women deserve. I hope for them to not have to leave one job and go to another one. All of this goes back to that "Farther Along Song". We will all understand it all someday, by and by and all that stuff in that good ole church song.
In addition to Black Bird, Black Bird, echoing throughout the small town of Lexington, there was me yelling for Mama to come help me with the twins. She came everytime I hollered. The help that she gave was not quality help, but it was help none the less. If she would just hold one, or hand me something it was helpful. Mama and I had our rounds. She was not the easiest to get along with. It was so frustrating to me, that the most simple things she did not do the right way. Really, who is to say what the right way to do anything is. It really burns my ass worse than a candle three foot high; for anyone to think they are better than others at anything. Life is a "you do what you got to and can do" situation most of the time. Mama came to the house each day while I was at work. She made the beds. She washed dishes. She picked up. The beds were not all that straight. Hospital corners they forsure did not have. The dishes were not always shiny clean, but there was not dried on food. I could deal with that. Picking up anything was worth a mint to me. The day I found her lying on her floor; lifeless, Jessica had said Mama, "Nanny has not been here today". I knew something was terribly wrong before I busted the window out to get to her. No matter what a parent does or does not do for us, we all should love them unconditionally. My mother was not the most sane person in the world, but she done all her mind enabled her to do. The smartest well to do moms can't hold a candle to a mom that gave all she could. I see parents that had rather give stuff than give love. If I could say on thing to Mama/Nanny today it would be I am sorry for not giving you more praise for what you did for me and my girls.
The five friends that were cussed, chased and hated by her to this day speak of her in the fondest ways. They loved me enough to help me and accept the way my mother was. I took more grief from my husband over her than anyone. At the time she was going to have to stay with us, he was going to leave me. It was my mama or me. Perfect husbands was a thing that most of my five friends did not have. Bindy and I probably had the most alike than the others. At the time I started to be friends with her, I was so proud to be her friend. I felt like I had moved up the ladder as far as quality people to call friends. The first road trip we took was to Lawrenceburg to look at Christmas trees. I had this great desire for a tree to plant. A desire that I really could not afford, but loaded it in Bindy's truck anyway. She got a cut tree that was kind of big for her basement home, but we loaded that one up also. I was really nervous being with her that first time. I really thought that she was higher class than me. The first stop was her house to unload her tree. As soon as we got there we realized that it was going to be hard to fit into the door. It was even going to be hard for us to carry it in. We were going have to have her husband help us. He was a race car idiot, like most of the men around us. We had to get him to stop working on a car to help with the tree. He did not like this idea at all, a race car like many man things, takes top priority. He came to help and when he realized that the tree was to big, he had the most animal like mad fit I have ever seen. he kicked and threw that tree all over the garage. It did not have hardly a green Christmas tree needle left on it. He tore up a tree because he was just an idiot man that wanted to be doing his hobby rather than helping his wife. A wife that was way too, good for his crazy ass to begin with. She loved him way too, long and much. To this day I hear the admiration she has for me in her voice. I feel the admiration I have for her in my heart. We were very much the same when we became single moms. We worked hard to no avail. It seemed the harder we tried the more bad luck we would have. Cars were always an issue with us; something was always tearing up on them. She is my friend that had the same car as I did, we parked them side beside once to put a windshield wiper motor on mine. It was on, but that was all. It did not work totally right. My brother ended up, getting one of his guys to finish making it work right. We both had yards that were way to big for us. I hate lawn mowers to this day. They never worked for me, if they did they always tore up before I got the whole yard mowed. There are more than one lawn mower stories with more than one of my five friends. There is something about me and getting that acre and a half yard mowed that gave me much grief and a few scars from stitches to boot. Bindy's sister; the one that I say I am her friend just because I sure don't want to be her enemy, saw for her own eyes the day I lost it with a push mower. That is another story that I soon will share along with all my friends I gathered along the way.

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