April 19, 2012

Three Stooges For Real

Quotes by: Three Stooges
"We're not nearly as violent as the westerns."~~Moe Howard
"Well being as there's no other place around the place, I reckon this must be the place, I reckon." ~~~Curly 
 "Moe, Larry, the Cheese!!~~~Curly Howard 
                    "Meet the wife, and don't laugh."~~~ Shemp

Just recently has the Three Stooges returned to television. AMC and Spike TV are showing the zanny shows again. It has been so long that many of the shorts I don't remember. There are the one's that will always stand out in my mind. The one with the skeletons and ghosts; I did not forget. When they were plummers posing as party guests; when the light bulb has water running out of it. Those are unforgettable to me. Sunday morning was when they aired when I was a child. We watched them as we were getting ready for Sunday school. They must have came on channel 19 because my grandfather said that the TV would tear up if you changed the channels. Still that is the craziest adult idea I have ever heard. WTF.
We really had a few stooges living with, living nearby or visiting us everyday. There was Ed Corum, W. T. Clemmons and Preacher Corum all with-in walking distance of us. Ed walked alot, but had a white Ford truck. W. T. was the Andy Griffin character, Otis. His daily routine was just drinking. He drank more than the average man in the community. He was very smelly. Smelly, as in he really smelled. Having a truck was unusual for him, but at one time he somehow managed to own one. It was Sunday morning; a very sunny Sunday morning. We had the TV on the Three Stooges, Grandmother, Mama and me were getting ready for church. It seemed cold to me this early spring morning so I went out on the porch when I put my dress on to sit in the sun. The sun shined on the brick and walkway of the house. It was the best place to soak up warmth from the sun. The house sat on a hill, so any vehical coming by could be seen as it turned at the crossroads. I knew the truck coming up the road as W.T's. The traffic in those days was very slim. So any vehical that came by was noticed. W.T.'s truck topped the hill in front of the house. When he reached the top of the hill, the angle of the truck was just right for the door, he forgot to shut to fly open. The door of the truck came open and out flew W.T. He rolled onto the pavement. The truck just kept on going. The truck went all the way down to the next house stopping in the yard. I ran in the house to tell Daddy that W.T. had fallen out of his truck. Daddy ran out there and dragged him out of the road. I ran after Daddy to the road. All Daddy could say was how did he get here. I told him that he fell out of his truck. "What truck?"; my daddy was yelling at me. I could not even see the truck by then. "The truck kept going after he fell out." is all I could say. There was not a scratch on him. It is Sunday morning before ten and T is so drunk he could not stand up. After we got him into the house, we walked down to Sam Corum's rental house where the truck had ended up. The truck didn't have a any damage that came from traveling that far without a driver. The driver had no clue how he got in our house. My daddy got the biggest kick out of this. He grinned more than was typical for him. I even recall him telling the story and laughing to his brother and my aunt's husband. Uncle Luke came by as he did every Sunday morning and he told him the story, also. Ed Corum walking with his cane arrived at the scene shortly after W.T was pulled from the road.  Even in the crazy things that our drunks did; this was crazier than usual event. T was what he was called by his many brothers and sisters. We called T's mother and two of the brothers picked him up and took him home. We gathered lots of things; even T. Clemmons out of the road.
Joke Break:
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 6.6 pounds.
The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women: will be finished reading this by now.
Men: are still busy checking their thumbs.

1 comment:

  1. I have to admit I looked at my thumb...and I don't have a penis! haha

    Every small town has an Otis...and needs an Andy.

    Great post.