August 5, 2011

We Are Family

Malden Friends Are The Family We Choose For Ourselves Mini Sign with Phrases Frame, 3 by 3-InchOK, tell me how not living within 30 miles of my home town that I still am so attached to my friends there. I have really not been closely involved with the people that I considered my closest friends since I met my. My fault totally. I at first lost social time with them because I was working all day in the sewing plants and waiting tables at night. At first my closest of five in our click came to eat at the cafe I was working at just to see me. This slowly in time became less often. I was single and our lives went in different directions. It is still hard for me to not be jealous that she has become friends with other people and I rarely see her. I left her after she had basically helped me raise my girls. She helped me with their baths, cleaned my house, and filled a great space in my life while my husband was never home. She has since had two children that I barley even know. I am so ashamed that I was not there for her to help her the way she helped me. The sadness I feel when I see her in a different group of friends is something that I brought upon myself. My girls are great. I am told this very often. The real facts are that I had lots of support from great friends and family. They were surrounded by people that gave them a positive outlook on all that life had to give. My girls watched us work in the yard, garden, house and for other people. They saw how happy we were as a group. The friends were always welcome at family gatherings. The group that was my closest friends are still the people I love the most. The group basically brought together because of me. The click started with my husbands first cousins wife. She was my first outside of high school friend. The way it usually works after you leave high school is the friends you had in school are not the chosen ones. They are people that you are put together because you are the same age and go to the same school. The new found friendships that I formed after high school were of my choosing and loyal to the end. Well that is what I want to believe. I know I was loyal. I brought us together and never wanted it to end. The greatest time of my life was the years we were raising children together. Our children being together made it easier on us as young mothers. It gave the kids someone to play with and us the joy of friends to share special moments. It all began with a cousin-in-law. I was blessed to have my closest friend just begin to stop by. She was dating my husbands friend. That gave us reason to hang; eventually seeing each other everyday. She came straight from work to my house. We visited my brother, my cousins wife, my cousin-in-law friend and her friends. Her friends were sisters one having a daughter the same age as my twins. My sister-in-law had to get in the loop, of course. We were the click of Lexington. If not for my attachment to all of them they probably would not ever even liked one another. At times I did feel like a referee. I loved all five of them. They all knew that I was loyal and could keep a confidence to the end. I still pride myself in how easy it is for someone to tell me their deepest secrets. Trouble is something there is no use in trying to start. I learned along time ago that I do not like confrontation. Each time in my life that I have lost my temper with someone I truly love it really just made me ill; Really sick was what happened if I had a terrible argument with anyone. I realized that is was easier for me to look over what makes most people human to begin with.  One less hour at waiting tables would not have mattered anyway. It was still going to be almost impossible for me to make ends meet.Say you are sorry; say you were wrong; do all it takes to fix it.  My closest of the five is now very close to my sister-in-law. I am in another town and so jealous that it makes me want to cry sometimes. There are too many people that have touched my life for me to mention them all. I have had more wonderful people to care about me than anyone could imagine. I lost the sewing factory job at a time when I could not go without a paycheck. My great aunts daughter-in-law saw to it that I became caretaker for her mother-in-law. She paid me for not hardly doing any hard work at all. I was able to run and check on my great aunt and attend college at the same time. The praise given to me by her and her husband was more than I deserved. Along the way there was my daddy's sisters best friend that gave me cash without me asking. She too gave me the strength to keep on keeping on. She e-mailed me yesterday signing off at the end that she loves me. Touching base with those I know are wonderful people is part of how I just keep on gathering life. Taking the time and effort to go visit is something that my grandmother would have done. She lived to be 92 and still had time to keep in touch with her best friends. My aunt had a multitude of friends that at the end of her life surrounded her. As I think of all the friends I have had along the way, today I want to call them all. Today I am going to start calling them. My birthday is coming soon. A great present would be to get them all together just the way it used to be. There is a Paul Simon song, something about getting all the girls he's known together for one night, that is what I would love to do. Get all my girls together for one night.
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