I discovered something this morning that took me a couple of hours to think the way a good person should handle this. My first instinct was to cry; actually that is what I did. Better than I deserve, finally came to mind. The deal is how others can think that you do not deserve the same as them. The song farther along came to my mind again. One day I will understand why others prosper living so wicked year after year. God forgive me for envy. God forgive me for wanting what others have. Today I will be thankful for what I have. Today I will show gratitude instead of jealousy. I had rather be the one not taking advantage than the one that has. I am just as guilty at times to have pride. It was not until recently that I learned that pride is actually a sin. It is hard to believe that something so much of what we are taught is to have pride in everything. There is school pride. There is pride in our jobs. There is pride in our appearance. We are to take pride in which we are, and what others think we are. I have always wanted my family to be proud of me. I have wanted even my friends to think that I have done well. I think that the years of being beaten down verbally have made me crave others to praise me. I go to work each day knowing that it is the one place that I will be noticed for what I can do well. Being around many that have a sinful amount of pride has beaten me down. It has made me realize that the world doesn't matter. It is repeated over and over in the Bible. All is God. That is all we have and all we need. Thanksgiving is a perfect time to know that without faith we have nothing. Hope is another thing that we all should strive to keep. I have lost many of the hopes and dreams that I had for my life. It just was not supposed to be this way. Knowing and facing this has proved to me that the most important thing to be thankful for is I have faith enough in God to not worry about this world. I still can be thankful for the things I have of this world.
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