Forgive and Forget

I may be the only one, but I really don't think so. There is a feeling that I did not experience until I was in my late thirties. A tramatic event in our family may have started the deep sadness, at the time. I have cried for no apparent reason most of my life. Depression is something my grandmother called "nerves". She said you have to get ahold of yourself; fight the feeling back. The feeling of utter saddness. I noticed it the first time when I had just gotten up to get ready for work. The feeling has eventually came more often. It is part of my everyday life; the morning still being the time it is strongest. The mind is a funny thing. How things affect the people we become. I did fight and am a good enough citizen in society. There is still deep inside the utter sadness that I hide most of the time. I have said much of this in comparison to inner sufferings that trama causes.
     The Penn State abuse of young boys is one of the most terrible things, to me. This is typical in some people that gain a position of power. It may not be within a intity as large as Penn State, but it is part of everyday life way too often. The powers that be at Penn State were willing to sacrifice the rest of these young boys life; no different from the man who sexually abuses a child. It does not matter that the environment may be a mobile home. The same evil act was commeted by a person of great stamina. The acts were possibly committed in a huge million dollar home. This makes no different; just because of who and where it should not have been covered up. Just because you have more don't give you the right to hurt others. This is no different than teachers who pray on teenage boys. This was the same thing. It was just that powerful people were involved. It happened in a environment that produces millions of dollars a year. No matter it is the same no matter what. These boys will be damaged for life. Joe Paterno lived his life with the best of material things. It will be hard for these boys to ever to be productive enough to make a good living. Hopefully the lot of them will overcome. Still the scars will remain.  What if we did not have the ability to forget when others do us wrong? It has happened that I for some reason did not like someone, but could not remember why. That is a great thing, being able to forget smaller wrongs, but the sexual abuse these boys suffered is not small it has taken a part of them they will never get back. Self worth is something they will always have trouble with. They will always deep down think that it was, maybe their fault. The sadness will come when least expected.

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